Melanie's Story

After my dad left when I was 10, I was full of feelings of loss and unworthiness. I felt unwanted, unloved and I went on to seek anything and everything that could take me out of myself.

I went through the care system after leaving home at 11 and ended up in a relationship with a using addict at 15. By 18 I was a very chaotic addict, full of anger, lies, deceit, sadness, sorrow, unmanageability, guilt, shame, and fear.
I was forced into sex work at the age of 17, and it then became a choice I made with an addict’s mind that I could fund my habit selling my body.

What I didn’t realise, was that I was not just selling my body, but I was selling a part of my soul each time. I was chipping away at my self-worth, my self-esteem and slowly but surely losing any empowerment as a woman I had or could have. It was lonely, sad, and full of despair and pain. I made many attempts to get clean but I never managed to sustain it.

Finally, about three years ago, I was referred onto the SWOP (Sex Worker Outreach Project) team by my local domestic abuse services. I was in a very volatile and toxic relationship and had tried to take my own life but no matter where I turned, I was unable to get help. I was very resistant to help to begin with but I had no one to turn to except my SWOP worker, and it’s because she didn’t give up on me and did everything she could to empower me that I’m where I am today.

After two years of perseverance from her and the rest of the team I finally entered The Nelson Trust’s rehab. My SWOP worker specifically requested The Nelson Trust so I could go and do a group which no other treatment centre has called Griffin. It was a group for women who had sex worked. It delved into the core of myself and helped me to rebuild my life.

I didn’t realise I needed to look at the sex working in order to stay clean. The women’s service and specifically the SWOP team was paramount in my recovery. I am now one year into recovery from all mood altering substances. The Nelson Trust has continued to support me and now I facilitate a women’s recovery group and a leavers group.

My life today is full of gratitude and I am now able to see the beauty in life, which I wasn’t able to see before. I now appreciate life’s hurdles and do not treat them as an obstacle but as an opportunity for growth. I am able to stand in my own truth, and feel empowered as I’m doing this.

When I arrived, I wanted to turn around and leave straight away. It was very daunting and I didn’t trust anyone. I lost my identical twin three years ago and three weeks after his funeral, my mum committed suicide. I wanted to die too. It took me a good few months to start to trust the staff but they kept persevering with me. My recovery worker while I was in detox suggested The Nelson Trust because it would help me deal with my traumas. I found the counselling and EDMR fantastic. Before I came here, I wouldn’t have recognised I needed help or asked for it, I would have just carried on doing what I was doing.

I’ve met so many good people here who’ve helped me through this programme. If it weren’t for the people in here, I wouldn’t have gotten through it. There’s been so many times I felt like walking out of this place when times got hard. I’ve just started a professional cookery course at college. I didn’t even know how to cook before I came here. That’s through one of my peers at the house helping me. When they saw how much I enjoyed it, the staff helped me apply to do a college course.

It’s been an eventful journey. I wouldn’t like to do it again. It’s taught me a lot about myself and what I was like back in addiction. I wouldn’t want to put myself through that again. Now I’m happy, healthy, clean and honest. I’m willing to do things. Being clean, I can now make my own choices. The Nelson Trust has given me my life back.