“If I didn’t get help from The Nelson Trust I could’ve ended up anywhere or I could’ve ended up back in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend and taking the abuse for the rest of my life.”
Content warning: Domestic violence, abuse, references to suicide
I was involved in a violent relationship for about five years.
He wasn’t like that when I first got with him, he was lovely. By the end the easiest option for me was to help him do the things he was doing rather than have my daughter witness the violence.
If I wasn’t in that relationship I wouldn’t have been involved in supplying Class A drugs.
I tried moving house to get away. I stayed at my mum’s and he kicked her door off. The police got called on many occasions about the domestic violence, it felt like they just wanted to get a drugs charge rather than a domestic violence charge.
I got arrested. He didn’t get arrested. I pleaded guilty to get away from him. It was a big decision for me, to know that I was going to leave my daughter with my mum, it was a choice of either staying in that relationship or going to prison. So I decided it was better to lose two years of my life and be away from my daughter than stay in a violent relationship that made me want to kill myself nearly every day.
Until I got to prison none of my family knew what had been going on in my life. He pulled me away from nearly all my friends so I was vulnerable, I had no one to talk to.
In the first couple of months in prison he was trying to contact me. Then I started speaking to the worker from The Nelson Trust and I explained what I had been through. Every single week she came to talk to me, to see how I was feeling and check that I was OK. Just having somebody there to depend on, to know they weren’t going to lie to me, they weren’t going to fob me off with stories. They were actually there to help me.
When it was time for me to be released, she put me in contact with the Women’s Centre. I already had a job while I was in prison. I bought myself a car while inside because I knew when I came home my daughter was starting secondary school. I had a job, so the final plans of me leaving prison was where my daughter and I were going to stay.
I went to my mum’s, where my daughter was living while I was in prison but we had to share a bed as my mum’s house is really small. I needed space after being in prison so long. The Nelson Trust offered me a home.
If I didn’t get help from The Nelson Trust I could’ve ended up anywhere or I could’ve ended up back in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend and taking the abuse for the rest of my life.
If you have been affected by this story, or want to know more on how you can support someone experiencing domestic abuse, see the organisations below:
National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247
National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0800 999 5428
The Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
Samaritans: 116 123
